50+ Questions To Ask Your Partner To Increase Intimacy

Here is a gentle reminder, this isn't any interrogation so don't pressure your partner to open up. First, discuss with your partner when s/he is free and pick a quiet moment, maybe during a cozy evening at home or a peaceful weekend morning, when there is no one around to disturb you two. Plus, create a safe space where you both feel comfortable being vulnerable. Remember, these talks work best when you take turns listening and sharing, and there's never a "right" or "wrong" way to feel.

You may wonder why childhood behavior matters in the relationship, but remember, the concern of understanding your partner's childhood helps you to know how they were shaped to form who they are in the present. Here are some questions that will inspire your partner to share their childhood experiences and family values.

1. What was your childhood like?

2. What did you like to do most in your childhood?

3. In your own words or simply if you had to explain it to someone who doesn't know you well how would you describe the relationship between your parents?

4. Do you have a fun memory from your childhood that doesn't fail to put a smile on your face?

5. Which traditions from your family would you like most and would like to practice in our relationship?

6. What did your family ever teach you that was the most valuable and beneficial for you?

7. In what ways was love manifest among your parents and between them and you?

8. If you could change one thing about your upbringing, what would it be?

9. Is there any role model in your childhood? Who?

10. In your childhood, what did you find the most challenging thing to deal with?

These questions can help both of you align your relationship values and expectations, offering insights into how your partner views love:

11. What does love mean to you?

12. In what way do you think that you feel valued most in the relationship?

13. What is your love language (words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, or physical touch)?

14. How can I make you feel more loved?

15. What's the most romantic thing someone has ever done for you?

16. What's the best relationship advice you've ever received?

17. How would you like to be comforted when you are upset?

These questions assist you in exploring the main issues of your partner's preferences, to know what s/he wants and what is important to them.

18. I know values matter to you, but what three values are most important to you?

19. Well, do you think there is life after death?

20. In what way are you spiritual or religious and how does this influence your life?

21. What is your attitude toward forgiveness?

22. What is your definition of successful life?

23. What is there that you will never negotiate?

24. If you had a chance only to regain your money or to be happy, which would you rather have money or happiness?

Being vulnerable is key to building emotional intimacy. These questions can encourage your partner to open up about their feelings:

25. Do you have any fear related to our relationship?

26. What's one thing you're afraid to tell me but want to?

27. How do you handle stress?

28. What's the most vulnerable moment you've ever experienced?

29. When was the last time you cried, and why?

30. Is there anything on your mind lately that you haven't shared with me?

31. How do you feel when you're with me that's different from when you're with others?

Not every conversation needs to be deep. Some fun and laughter are also required to lighten the mood and environment. Below we have listed a few light-hearted questions that can help you both laugh together and remind you to enjoy the fun side of a relationship:

32. What reckless act have you ever committed in your life?

33. If you could just pack the bag and drive any place, where would you go?

34. What is your favorite mode of time passes during a holiday?

35. In a relationship, what have you done for love that was crazy?

36. If you could relive one day, which day of your life would you like to live again?

37. What's one adventure you'd love to go on with me?

38. What's the most embarrassing thing ever happened to you?

Physical connection is generally considered to be a primary need of the majority of partners. Likewise, emotional intimacy plays an equally crucial role in maintaining a balanced relationship with your partner. As the relationship deepens, both partners naturally start to form an emotional attachment to each other.

These questions will enable both of you to be more comfortable in discussing your wants and requirements.

39. What's your favorite way to be touched?

40. What is your opinion of Public Displays of Affection?

41. What's something you've always wanted to try in the bedroom?

42. How do you like to unwind together after a long day?

43. What's the most romantic night you can imagine?

44. Is there anything you've been too shy to tell me about your preferences?

45. How do you feel most connected to me physically?

46. How can we make our intimate moments more meaningful?

47. When do you feel most emotionally close to me?

48. When do you feel most emotionally connected to me?

49. How do you prefer to be comforted when you are sad?

50. What makes you feel truly understood?

51. How do you process anger or frustration in our relationship?

52. What helps you feel emotionally safe with me?

Building a relationship that stands the test of time requires a foundation of trust. These questions can help you both explore your feelings about trust and security:

53. What makes you feel safe in a relationship?

54. What's something that makes you feel insecure?

55. How can I help you feel more secure in our relationship?

56. What does trust mean to you?

57. Have you ever had your heart broken? How did you recover?

58. What's one thing I can do to earn your trust more?

59. How do you know when you can trust someone?

These questions help you understand how your partner feels about your day-to-day interactions and routines, making sure you're on the same page about living life together:

60. What's your favorite part of our daily routine?

61. How do you feel about how we handle disagreements?

62. What's something small I do that makes you happy?

63. How do you feel about our shared responsibilities?

64. What's one way we can improve our time together?

65. If you could change one thing about our relationship, what would it be?

66. What's your favorite memory of us?

Thinking about the future together is a beautiful way to connect. These questions can help you understand your partner's vision for your shared future:

67. What are your hopes for our future together?

68. How do you imagine our life together in 10 years?

69. What are some traditions you'd like to start as a couple?

70. What one thing you are looking forward to doing together in the next year?

71. How do you feel about raising a family together?

72. Where do you want to live as we grow older as a couple?

73. What kind of legacy do you want us to leave behind?

You can ask these questions also without any hesitation:

74. Is there anything that you've discovered about yourself that you did not know before we began dating?

75. What's something new you've learned about yourself since we started dating?

76. How has our relationship changed since we first met, in your opinion?

77. Is there anything from our past that still bothers you that we should discuss?

78. What is it about me that you like most and why?

79. In what ways do you think we complement each other as partners?