Here Is What You Have To Do When Your Wife Ignores You
When your wife ignores you, never be oblivious. Seeking revenge on your partner will only make things worse.
If you think your wife is ignoring you or you have recently realized the peaceful day you have enjoyed was a part of her silent treatment, do not worry, you are not alone. It is not uncommon for your spouse to completely deny your physical existence even if you are in the same room.
However, before you conclude your wife is ignoring your presence, first be sure if she is doing it or if it is just in your head. Many men tend to believe their wife is not paying attention to them, but nothing appears to have changed.
For example, if you have ample free time because of your changed work schedule. You want to spend more time with your wife, but she appears preoccupied. She is not ignoring you as her schedule has not changed a bit, but you are the one with extra time.
If your partner is turning her eyes blind on you, then you might want to dig deeper into the cause. Men like me tend to miss the subtle clues she had been leaving for the past god knows how many days, making her angry day by day. Have you checked the calendar for a possible birthday or anniversary?
Well, if the above scenarios or questions do not ring a bell, then here is what you can do to try to mend the situation.
Here Is What You Have To Do When Your Wife Ignores You
When your wife ignores you it is time to start preparing for an open discussion. A calm conversation can solve or de-escalate the situation.
In most cases, she might not be ignoring you but you might have jumped to the conclusion quickly. Men feel ignored if their spouses are busy doing something else and not interested in them. You must keep in mind that she has her hands full of work and is not giving you adequate time.
Similarly, if your work takes you away from home frequently and you are returning after a long absence. You need to give adequate time to yourself and your partner to acclimatize to each other's most recent schedules. Your feeling of getting ignored might have come from your spouse being busy with their schedule.
Check yourself before declaring your wife is ignoring you. There might be something you have done, even unknowingly, that might have hurt your spouse. If it rings a bell, then a proper apology can mend the situation in no time.
If she is ignoring you, then there must be a good reason. Men often miss clues left by their spouses and later get in trouble, so try to find the reason that is upsetting your wife. If there is no underlying difference or problem in your marriage, then the reason might be small.
Think of the previous instance when she ignored you, and try to remember the problem you had at that time. Does your wife ignore you often or is there any pattern to such behavior? if the answer is yes then you might have some recurring problems and might want to visit a marriage counselor shortly.
However, here are some little steps you can take to bring back the heart-melting smile on your spouse's face.
Things You Should Not Do To Win Your Wife Attention
You never ignore your wife if she has not spoken to you in days. An eye for an eye will not solve the issue at all.
Here is a list of things you ought not to do if your wife is ignoring you and does not bulge a bit after trying to speak to her for hours.
1. Do Not Be Pushy And Pursuant
The best thing to do if you are being ignored by your wife is not to be pushy.
If you start being pursuant, then things will get ugly. The last thing your wife wants you to be in this situation is pushy and interrogative. Being pursuant and forcing her to open up about the reason for her ignorance will cause her to be more secluded.
She might soften up and open up about her feelings if you give her enough time. However, being pushy will make her more resilient, making things much worse between the couple. So, cool off your pursuit and let her relax by giving her time.
2. Do Not Be Naggy And Threatening
Threatening your already angry wife with divorce and separation will take your marriage to a dead end.
Nagging her about the reason for the behavior also takes your marriage to a place with no return. It is better to keep your threats and nags to yourself in this situation.
Furthermore, if your wife is hurt and ignoring you, she might take your empty threats seriously and end your perfect marriage in the heat of the moment. Instead of trying to solve things between you and your better half with threats, trying compassion and understanding will be much better.
3. Never Ignore Her Back
Giving a taste of their own medicine only sounds good in movies, and they taste bitter in real life.
If you start ignoring your angry spouse, things might turn ugly quickly. Speaking from experience, they do not like being ignored at all. Ignoring your wife will escalate things instead of solving them.
She might have started to ignore you due to the communication problem in the first place, and to solve a communication problem by completely blocking off all the channels will certainly not work. You might get her attention back but not on good terms.
4. Never Seek Attention From Other Women
Men often try to seek attention from other women when they are getting ignored by their partners.
However, the small decision to seek attention from other women during a turbulent marriage is enough to crash the partnership on the grounds never to fly again.
Despite their wife being mad and ignoring them, men will always be responsible for their decision-making. If your spouse finds out about the small talk you are making with your co-worker, someone from the neighborhood, or even online trying to gain their attention, you might be in grave trouble.
Furthermore, speaking with other women to the extent you start discussing your marital problem can be categorized as emotionally cheating on your wife. I cannot say for everyone, but one thing my wife hates more than me playing video games is cheating.
5. Never Blame Your Wife
The last thing you want to do in this situation is fueling her anger by blaming everything on her.
As a married man, you might already know there is nothing such as your wife's fault but just a gentle reminder never to blame anything on your wife. Try to find neutral grounds to make conversation rather than playing the blame game on each other.
Remember, no one is at fault, but the perception of each other's position is to blame for the miscommunication sometimes.
Try something like ' i am feeling ignored' rather than blaming by saying, ' you are ignoring me.'
6. Never Complain About Your Wife With Your Mates
Men can easily relieve their desire and speak their hearts out while with friends but complaining about your wife is different.
Getting ignored by your woman and complaining about her to your friends is like stepping on lava; you will feel the heat once the shoe starts burning. You will get into deep trouble after she learns about the talks you have been having with your mates.
Letting other people into the problems of your marriage is never a good idea. They will start to bend the situation to their advantage and sometimes fill you with nonsense and unhealthy advice if it benefits them.
Therapist Brandon Wall writes on Cedar Rapids Counseling Center that your family and friends might advise you to leave your spouse because of your constant complaining.
On top of that, you will hurt your wife even more by discussing her problems and behaviors with other people.
Things To Solve The Ignoring Problem With Your Wife
Getting your wife to give attention after she ignores you all day is not difficult. You only need to be committed enough to change the situation.
Here are a few things you might want to do to get square with your partner.
1. Have a Conversation
Having a healthy and good conversation can solve most of the problems in marriage arising from bad communication.
Keep your calm while talking to her. Never give up on having a meaningful and mature conversation, even if she replies with cold one-word answers. She will eventually melt if you are dedicated enough. Having a conversation with some wine helps open her heart.
You must be cautious not to change the topic during the conversation and not start an argument. Remember, you are talking to solve an issue and not to add to your problems. If you love your spouse, then for once, swallow your pride and speak about the situation with her in a calm and comforting manner. You will notice the changes soon.
2. Be Gentle
Be gentle towards your wife even if she is angry and has been ignoring you.
Keeping your voice soft and your anger out of the conversation makes a difference. Filling the room with rage and anger will just make things worse when your spouse is mad at you. So, you should handle the situation with a bit more maturity.
I cannot say for sure, but keeping the conversation moving, with a calm and gentle attitude, has worked almost every time for me. I am saying this almost every time because sometimes I tickle her until she bursts into laughter, but be careful this trick might backfire if she is deeply hurt or furious.
3. Giver Her Some Space
Your partner might be ignoring you because she needs some space to vent.
Pushing her continuously or trying to get her attention might be too much for her, and she might distance herself even further. Sometimes it is better to provide some personal space to vent before you start making conversation.
However, giving her some space does not mean denying her existence completely. You need to control the unsolicited advice you have been giving her and let go of the attempts you have been making to make peace for a while.
4. Help Her With Chores
While she cools off on her own, you can help by doing the chores around the house instead of sitting on the couch.
Doing the dishes or cleaning the living room can help lighten up your wife's mood. I am not saying you will do the job perfectly, but she might burst into laughter seeing you struggle to do basic chores around the house.
Helping your partner with the bits and bobs around the house can take some pressure off her making her relax. She might open up about the feelings once she cools down.
5. Seek a Couples Counseling
Going to see a couples counselor can be an excellent idea. If you have a repetitive problem in your marriage advice from an expert can end those never-ending arguments.
However, the decision to seek a counselor must be mutual, if you be pushy then you go to square one in solving your problem. Remember what we said about being pushy earlier?
When seeing the counselor, never put blame on your wife for the problems in your marriage. You are also equally responsible for all the mishaps that occur.
Some Tips For A Smooth Married Life
Once your marriage starts getting turbulent, there is no starting fresh. Both of you must work to maintain smooth sailing from day one.
Here are some ways to keep the spark flying in your marriage and avoid some minor issues altogether.
1. Plan Date Nights
Taking your wife on a beautiful date every once in a while makes her happy.
You do not need to take her to an expensive restaurant, but the term date night is enough to lighten her mood, at least in my case. Sometimes sitting on a couch at home and opening up a bottle of wine, and having an excellent conversation is the only thing she wants.
The most important thing to remember on a date night, give your undivided attention to her. Listen to her conversation and be responsive, put your input and see the difference. Keep your guard down during the whole night and be vulnerable with her, and you will feel the difference in her behavior.
2. Surprise Her With Little Things
Bring her a bouquet while returning from work or set the table before she returns home. It's the small things that make her happy.
Surprising her every once in a while will get her on her toes. She will look forward to the next event occurring eagerly, and it will make her happy. She will be interested in you, at least to investigate what you are planning to pull up your sleeves the next time.
Remember you do not need to buy her a car or expensive jewelry, a small present like a dress can make her equally happy. She looks forward to your effort and not your actual gift. There is an old saying, " it is the thought that counts."
3. Take Interest In Her Life
I am not generalizing everyone, but most women love getting interested in their life from their spouses.
Be genuinely happy about her promotion meetings or the project she recently completed. Celebrate her career and personal achievements as if it was yours.
She will be delighted to get your help to prepare for her next big presentation or to meet your parents. The easiest thing you can do is, make her a cup of coffee when she is pulling an all-nighter.
You can ask her about her day, every day, and see the joy on her face when she explains every detail about what her colleagues are up to or the gossip in the office.
4. Compliment Her And Be Verbal About Your Love
Your wife loves getting compliments and you verbally express love by saying I love you, even more than the chocolates.
Compliment her dress, hair, or the makeup she wears. She will feel desired if you are making small compliments now and then. Saying she is the most beautiful one in the group photos with her friends will make her feel special.
Love her unconditionally and express your feeling by saying them aloud whenever you get a chance. Thanking her for everything she has been doing for you and your kids now and then will melt her.
Make a habit of saying I love you when leaving for work or when going to bed. She will appreciate your efforts to make her feel loved.
5. Just Listen
Sometimes your partner wants to be heard.
Just listening to your wife will always be a good idea. The most important thing to remember while listening to your wife is never to give unsolicited advice or try to solve the problem right away. She might not be seeking a solution but pouring her heart out.
Listening to your wife eagerly and being responsive during the conversation can make all the difference. She loves being heard and you taking her advice in the family matter. Give her a chance for her input on the family problems and take her advice.
6. Never Go To Bed Angry
The most important thing you can do for smooth sailing in your married life is never go to bed angry.
Sleeping on someone's advice or big decisions can be very helpful, but it has the opposite effect when sleeping on your anger. Solving the problem on the day it arises between the couple can help uproot them.
