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A Guide On How To Know Your Girlfriend Is Cheating

By Familywave Team Published on Sep 02, 2024

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It can be a traumatic and shocking experience for any loving partner to know his girlfriend was cheating all along. Even though it's just one kiss or only one night of sleep with other men for her, it's a breach of trust and bonding for the other partner. A lot of men reportedly go through major life crises and mental health problems in the aftermath of cheating.

Although it's not okay to jump immediately to the conclusion and start battling with your girlfriend after you feel she has been cheating on you, you should first examine the few signs she has been showing. How to find out if your girlfriend is cheating on you? We have listed 18 common signs your girlfriend might show voluntarily or involuntarily when she is cheating with other men.

1. Unexplained Absences

Your partner is likely to disappear often. If your girlfriend has been frequently disappearing in recent days or weeks and she gives vague and unclear reasons for your questions, you should look out for her activities.

You can't let this huge red flag go unnoticed, you should demand serious answers. Even after this if she gives hazy answers that don't add up, she is most probably indulging in cheating and fraud.

2. Increased Privacy

One of the common things cheating partners do to hide their misdoings is they strengthen their privacy settings on their devices. This might be either changing the lock pattern or the passcode of their smartphones.

Additionally, they might change their social media passwords as they might be cheating another person through the application. You should be able to look for these signs if you're suspicious of her.

3. Change In Communication Patterns

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She might stop talking to you the way she did before. If she is always less talkative and introverted, then it's not a thing to worry about. However, if her character is extroverted and used to talk to you a lot about everyday things before but now talks less often, you should be concerned.

Your girl might show this tendency due to her obsession with her new partner.

4. Altered Schedule

Similarly, her daily routines and schedules also change. If you're living together, you might notice her being too late returning home after work than usual. Additionally, she might stay late using her phone which can be unusual for her character.

Moreover, if you used to have a daily chit-chat through your phone at a certain time or period of the day, she might delay responding or ignore the call altogether.

5. Less Intimacy

Your girl might show a lack of affection and intimacy towards you than usual. She might avoid any type of intimate activities like hugging and cuddling in bed. Even during sex, she is likely to avoid any type of foreplay and might not enjoy sex altogether.

However, these signs judged on their own can infer her lack of mental health. So it's important to examine other signs mentioned here before questioning her truthfulness.

6. Changes In Appearance

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Another common sign of cheating partners is they make a drastic change in their appearance all of a sudden. Your girlfriend might change her dress more frequently as well as her hairstyle. Similarly, you might notice her investing more time in caressing her looks and skin.

This might be by using different types of facials, serums, and anti-aging creams. Additionally, your girl might put on a lot of makeup on her face than usual to impress the other man.

7. Emotional Distance

Your partner will likely act less empathetic and ignorant around you. She might zone out randomly and may not grasp what you're saying during deep conversations. Additionally, she will likely give more subtle reactions to your problems than usual.

For example, if you express your dissatisfaction and anxiety regarding your job, she might act emotionally distant and unfazed by your pain. This behavior of her shows her feelings for you are fading away.

8. New Interests

She might include developing new interests and hobbies that seem out of her character. There are two reasons you might observe this. Either she uses her new hobby as an excuse for being late for work or she is trying out the hobbies of her paramour.

Nevertheless, both reasons infer her dishonesty and deception and should be a matter of concern for you.

9. Frequent Criticism

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Your girlfriend might start to criticize your certain actions or habits without caring that criticism will hurt you. As you are the blocking obstacle between you and her paramour, she might compute and evaluate this fact in her subconscious mind.

As a result, she will often attack you or censure you about tiny things without a reason. The other reason, however, can be her propensity to end the relationship.

10. Less Time Together

She might start to drift away from your proximity. If you used to have in-depth conversations in the past, she might avoid those conversations now. Additionally, she might talk less about her daily activities.

If you used to have frequent sex with your girlfriend, she might avoid it and enjoy it less often now. If she's showing these signs, first you should ask her if she has any problems. If she is alright physically and mentally, it's reasonable to be suspicious.

11. New Friends

Another sign for your question, "how I know if my girlfriend is cheating", is she might start hanging out with new friends and people she never mentioned to you before. Similarly, she might start talking to them through her phone and plan things with them.

Either her new friends might be connected to her other man or this way she can get an excuse to go out on dates with her lover. However, if she is the type of person who keeps making new friends, observe her reaction when you ask her to tell them about you. If she refuses, then you need to be suspicious of her.

12. Unusual Spending

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You might notice frequent cash withdrawals from shared bank accounts or unknown expenses on credit cards. This behavior of her also deduces that she is not merely cheating on you for the rich guy but to replace you with the new one.

She might spend extra money on buying different beauty products and clothes. And if you ask her about the expenses, she might try to give you a blatant lie that simply doesn't add up.

13. Phone Behaviour Changes

Your partner might start texting obsessively and may provide blatant answers when asked who she is talking with. Additionally, she might use her phone more frequently than before. Surprisingly, she might go out of the room when someone calls her, which she usually doesn't do.

This behavior of her infers that she is trying to hide something from you. Likewise, she might come with a big smile after the phone call or show similar reactions while texting.

14. Avoids Future Plans

If your girlfriend shows a lack of interest when you raise the topic of you two being together in the future, you have to be suspicious of her. Because girls love to hear about future plans from their boyfriends.

She avoids such talks, as she might not see her future with you but with her paramour. Plus, she might shrug off her shoulders when you discuss future anniversary plans or special dates with her.

15. Frequent Arguments

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She might start arguments more often than before. The reason the cheaters do this is because they try to justify their actions of cheating through your incompetency or assigning problems to you. They want to show the faults in you, so it's legitimate for them to cheat.

If your girl is arguing frequently and arguing on tiny matters, you should look out for the other signs she has been showing and compare them with the signs listed in this article.

16. Avoids Physical Contact

Let's delve into another sign that gives you the answer, is my girlfriend is cheating? If yes, she might show less interest in physical contact with you. She might avoid hugs or any kind of caressing either out of guilt or simply because of a lack of interest. Ironically, when she indulges in any type of physical connection with you, she might feel like cheating on her paramour.

If this behavior continues frequently, it is better to talk to her. If you aren't convinced by her answer, it's obvious she is lying. This indicates she may be having an affair.

17. Distracted Or Preoccupied

Cheating partners grow emotionally distant as time goes on. They might start having problems connecting with you or sympathizing with you. Your girlfriend might act distracted or preoccupied during exchanges.

Preoccupied, because she might be thinking of another person rather than you, and distracted because she now lacks interest in you and finds it hard to connect with you on different levels.

18. Overly Affectionate

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Although she indulges in frequent criticisms and arguments, she is likely to act overly affectionate somewhere in between the arguments. As cheaters have some sort of guilt for cheating their partners, they start pampering you to pay for the fraud and dishonesty they have been indulging in.

If your girlfriend shows bipolar tendencies or sudden mood swings, either she has bad mental health or she's cheating on you with someone else.

What Next?

Although it's a good thing for you that you have identified the cheater and you can remove her from your life, overwhelming pain and agony are like unwelcome guests that come with the revelation.

If you found out from various sources that your partner was cheating on you, and you are sure, you should be systematic and follow these steps for the sake of your mental health.

1. Don't Blame Yourself

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The first thing you should not do is blame yourself for her actions. Many guys question their looks and personality when their girls leave them. There can be a lot of reasons girls cheat and you should be blaming her for her dishonesty, not yourself.

If you're the type of guy who is insecure about looks and all, you should work on yourself, it may be hitting the gym or doing what you fear the most.

2. Think For Your Future

After you have discovered infidelity, you should take your time and think about your relationship. You should decide whether you want to stay in the relationship or move on. Taking time to think about the issue can provide you with broad insights and ideas on how to advance your relationship with your girlfriend.

3. Get Tested For STDs

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It becomes important that you get tested for any STDs after you've found out infidelity. It might not be right to distract yourself with hatred and agony towards her in the aftermath. Gather up the courage and get tested. If she's the cheater, she should suffer, not you, you should maintain your well-being.

4. Don't Be Hard On Yourself

It's okay to take time to grieve in relationships. You are likely to feel hatred and anger towards her for betraying and deceiving you. You should not repress your pain to look unaffected to the cheater. You should seek help from your friends and start investing in yourself. Otherwise, you will likely turn into a wretched adult having trust issues in the long run.

5. Seek Professional Help

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Whether you want to stay in the relationship or you want to end it, you should get counseling therapy. If your girlfriend acknowledges her mistakes and if the trust can be rebuilt in your relationship, you should attend couple therapy.

And if you want to leave the person, it's essential to maintain your mental health after the trauma. Counselling works and many people nurture healthy relationships later in their life with better help.

FAQs

1. Why would my girlfriend cheat on me?

There could be various reasons for infidelity. Some of them are emotional dissatisfaction, desire for excitement, or the due to unresolved personal issues. However, most of the time cheater does this out of their insecurities or desire for validation.

2. What should I do if I suspect my girlfriend is cheating?

Before jumping into debate, gather up facts and information against her and encourage her to open up about the issue. Even after discussion, if doubt lingers, consider attending couple therapy.

3. Can a relationship survive cheating?

Yes, relationships do survive infidelity accompanied by a lot of work on both sides. These may include opening up with each other and attending couple counseling. Both partners need to show commitment to rebuilding trust as this could take quite a time.

4. Is emotional cheating as bad as physical cheating?

Yes, emotional cheating can be just as damaging as physical cheating. Some people find the former harder to forgive because it infers a loss of trust and emotional intimacy in the relationships.

5. How do I confront my girlfriend about cheating?

It's important to remain calm while confronting your girlfriend on the issue. You should avoid making direct accusations to her and listen to what she has to say. You should be prepared for difficult conversations.